12.5.25 BECK

HAPPY FRIDAY

I’m writing to you from sunny LA.

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Amid the California whirlwind of coffee meet-ups, screenings, hikes with friends, and dead boy shoots there’s something else…

A hint of murky stuckness.

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Somehow I feel like I’m wading through quicksand toward the end of the year.

This surely has something to do with the seasonal darkness that takes over at this time of year.

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It’s also 2025 coming to a close and realizing I didn’t hit most of the goals I set for myself back in January.

If you were here then you know what they were.

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It could be the holding pattern I’ve been stuck in on pulling together this (big-ish budget) film project where ‘hurry up and wait’ seems to be the mandate.

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In the next few weeks, I’ll be doubling down on reframing some of those (unmet) goals from the beginning of this year. Figuring out how to tweak and accomplish them in 2026.

More on this later.

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When I start to feel stuck, I tend to return to the tried and true stuff that I know works for me. The ‘foundations of my creative practice.’

Sounds so lofty and official but it’s actually kinduv simple.

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MORNING PAGES.

ARTIST DATES

WALKING

WRITING FOR GUIDANCE

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It’s the Artist’s Way program Julia Cameron lays out across her dozens of (often repetitive) books.

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I’ve been doing Morning Pages for over 30 years now. (!) I remember going to a talk Julia Cameron gave at the Open Center in NYC when The Artist Way first came out in 1992.

I’ve got hundreds and hundreds of brown craft Moleskine journals filled with decades of Morning Pages.

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I don’t do Morning Pages every single day, but I rarely miss more than a day or two per month - and usually only if I’m traveling on a super early flight.

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Something about the ritual of morning coffee and spilling the insides of my brain onto the page via pen and paper is such a perfect start to my day.

I also never go back and read my pages.

Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t because of my cryptic handwriting.

I’ve thought of burning them, but don’t feel quite ready for that…

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I think of Morning Pages as a one way receptacle for whatever is swirling around in my head. I let myself be whiny and petty. I complain and dream and brainstorm about anything and everything.

So I’ve got the Morning Pages habit down.

But this current stuckness is making me want to lean into some of the other Artist Way practices that I use less often.

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ARTIST DATES

I sometimes get a bit lazy in my definition of what an Artist Date is. Going to a movie solo has often been my default - but it’s something I literally do all the time - and I feel like Artist Dates work best when they take me out of my comfort zone - even if it’s just a little bit.

The idea is a solo date that feeds your creativity and curiosity.

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Going to a new museum or unknown gallery.

Roaming around a botanical garden.

Exploring a library.

Going to a lecture or class on something I know nothing about.

Checking out some (new to me) tourist attraction.

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Pretty much anything works as an Artist Date - as long as you do it solo and head in with an open sense of curiosity.

And ideally you’d manage to stay off your phone for the date.

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I think this week I’ll be heading to the Huntington Gardens in Pasadena or maybe the Getty for my Artist Date.

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WALKING

I love my walks.

Especially when I’m in LA and I get to do them in Ernest Debs Park which is right next to where I stay. It feels surprisingly wild and has none of the crowds of so many of the popular LA hikes.

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It’s also full of coyotes.

Which on one hand can be unsettling. But it’s also strangely comforting. A reminder that the world is big and wild and full of uncertainty.

I’ve started to bring a metal thermos with me that I could theoretically use as a weapon if necessary.

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The walks Cameron prescribes for the Artist Way are done solo.

No pets. No music. No podcasts. No scrolling.

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I understand why.

A solo walk with none of those things (as difficult as it is to leave them behind) just hits different.

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I’m always amazed at how many ideas I come up with.

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With nothing in my ears but the sounds of nature or the city, my imagination works overtime to fill up the silence.

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I haven’t been doing my solo Artist Way walks. I’ve been walking a ton but not without something filling my ears.

I need to.

Twice a week.

By writing it here, I’m pledging to myself (and you) that I’ll ditch the podcasts and start doing them.

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WRITING FOR GUIDANCE

This is the most recent addition to Cameron’s ‘tools’ and the one I have the least expereince with.

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The idea is that once a week, you sit by yourself and ask for guidance on some issue or creative hurdle you’re facing.

Then you listen for the response and free write whatever comes to you.

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It’s the most woo-woo of the tools and maybe that’s why I haven’t gone deep on it yet.

Though I do love some woo-woo.

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So that’s another thing I’ll be doing this week. Seems like it might actually be the perfect tool to get me through the dark sludge of this final stretch of 2025.

Write it.

Do it.

So be it.

See to it!

I love Octavia Butler’s journals where she writes her future into reality by declaring So be it, see to it!

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Who else is an Artist Way junkie?

Have you had luck with any of the tools? Hit reply and let me know. I’m so curious to hear what sort of Artist Dates you’ve done or if you’ve tried writing for guidance.

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As usual, thanks for being here.

I really do appreciate it.

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Carter

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P.S.

My pornzine 52 FRIDAYS is still 19$ (down from 39$ in the spirit of DIRTY LITTLE BLACK FRIDAY) and you can get a copy here.

It’s a collection of 52 of my favorite dirty pics from the first year of DIRTY LITTLE FRIDAYS.

This is Ace from the zine.

So many of you ordered it after last weeks email - so thank you thank you thank you!

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I’m not gonna lie, I feel like 19$ is a better price point than 39$. The original pre-orders came with a series of postcards and a small signed print so that felt more appropriate - but going forward I wanna keep the cost of zines down.

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I’m not really looking at them as moneymakers - I just wanna get dirty little pornzines in your dirty little hands - while covering the costs of producing them.

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P.S.S.

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What do you think of Beck?

He’s a DIRTY LITTLE FRIDAY reader who reached out to me out of the blue.

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I got a reply to one of my emails saying “I’d maybe like to be a part of this project…”

It just goes to show that sometimes good things come from putting that little “If you’re interested in being a dead boy…” in the footer of my emails…

It took a while to schedule our shoot but I think it was worth the wait. Hopefully I’ll be adding him to the repeat dead boy roster.

Send me a 🍌 reply and I’ll share some more Beck :)

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P.S.S.S.

The SWALLOWED bluray is on sale over at Vinegar Syndrome! As of this writing there are 28 copies of the (previously sold out) special slipcovered edition. I guess maybe they pulled some out of the archive? I’m super proud of the film and in love with the release - including this poster designed by Sister Hyde and the pornzine booklet we made for the release.

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